My Plea

June 24, 2012 Lord, you know the state of my heart and my faith. I do but at the same time I don't. I'm so lost and confused. I have run away from you and chased after the world. I was disappointed and discouraged because of what I saw around me. Now that I look back, I have probably sinned just as much or worse. I wasn't dwelling in your Word and that is why Satan was able to attack me so easily. I had no defense or offense(against him). I was proud. I chose to trust myself instead of you and then I blamed you for everything that went wrong. God, what a fool am I? I've lost the love you instilled in me. Lord, my prayer for this summer is that you break me and truly humble me, completely. Deeply impress on me the Power of your Word and that of Prayer. Teach me what it means to worship in Spirit and in Truth. Lord, you have been so faithful to me, so gracious. I am undeserving. To think that you sent your ONLY Son to DIE on the cross for ME after KNOWING that I would turn my back on YOU? That's amazing. Help me not to lose sight of my ultimate purpose. Thank You. ...the first entry in my Guide journal. Anyone who knows me somewhat well, knows about Deerfoot Lodge. I'm always talking about that place. Well I had the opportunity to be a part of a summer long, counselor training program called the Guide program. It lasted from June 23rd to August 18th. 8 weeks. 20 guys and 4 leaders. Countless experiences. One amazing summer of growth and change. Well, it was the first Sunday of the summer, and all twenty of us were given a red, hardcover journal about the size of a novel with our names on it. It's a treasured possession of mine. I figured I should start off with what I want to get out of my summer at Deerfoot. And now, four months later, when I read this prayer. I cant help but marvel at how beautifully God answered this prayer. He truly is a God who cares and apart from Him there is no satisfaction.